Abs Writes A Lot

My name's Abs… and I write a lot.

Guts and glory or brainless and broke?

on October 20, 2015

A week ago, I made a snap decision that changed my life for the foreseeable future. I quit my job. I literally walked out and said (in not so many words) “take this job and shove it!”

In the past seven days, I’ve gone back and forth between thinking it was the bravest thing I’ve ever done and thinking it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Okay, so maybe it was brave, but the dumb part is, I did not have a back-up plan. I had interviewed for a job a few weeks ago and was in the final stages but ultimately was not chosen for the position. So, I quit and now have no income, other than a few freelance writing and editing projects here and there.

I just could not stand being in that place for one moment longer. It’s a long story and maybe you have to be in the newspaper business to understand it, but suffice it to say, my manager did not support me, never took my side, never stood up for me. And on this particular Tuesday morning, it was three hours until deadline and I was being asked to redo everything I’d already done for that week’s paper. I’d finished it the night before but it wasn’t in the proper format for this difficult paginator (the person who lays the stories and ads out in the paper) so I was asked to rewrite everything, basically. Never mind that every other paginator I work with has never complained about me and this one does. When neither her manager nor mine stuck up for me, it was the final straw. Not to mention that the powers that be were constantly sending out emails whose sole purpose it seemed was to belittle the editors and reporters. One editor in particular could do no wrong, and we were constantly reminded of it. Such things gnaw at you after a while.

So I left, and I haven’t been back, except to get my stuff and turn in my key. When I did that, my former coworkers wouldn’t even look at me, much less talk to me. This made me realize that I made the right decision.

Now, of course, I feel the anxiety of realizing my last paycheck was the last one I know I’m getting for a while and how on earth am I going to pay my bills? So yeah, it was brave, but perhaps also stupid. I know many people have dreamed of walking out on a job, and I did it. So maybe I should be proud. I’d just feel a whole lot better if one of my books finally became a best-seller or I found another great-paying job extremely quickly.

For the time being, I’m trying to enjoy not being in a position that caused me anxiety, stress and depression. My dog is my coworker, my office is my kitchen or bedroom, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe I can make this freelance thing a go.

I do know one thing for sure. I am not giving up. I’ve got dreams, and I still want to see them realized.

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2 responses to “Guts and glory or brainless and broke?

  1. You know the answer to this. You’re NOT dumb!!

  2. Wow! Good for walking out of a poisonous situation, and I hope you find a new job that you love soon!

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